Friday, August 26, 2011

Karumba Life GaGa Style!

Now that I have gotten all the mushy stuff out of my system about being homesick I can write about Karumba life.  It’s an interesting little place to be that’s for sure, and I don’t mean that in a way “wow that’s really interesting”  I mean it more of a ….well….I don’t even know how to explain how I mean it to be honest lol.  Let’s see if I can explain this. 
The Animal Bar Regulars, they are something else.  Some are awesome and others you just want to knock out their remaining teeth.  There are the late afternoon regulars who come in everyday around the same time, sit at the same spots at the bar and drink the same thing every day.  When they are done their drinks they will put it on the bar and wait for you to notice it, and if by chance you don’t notice one of 3 things happens.  1. They wave their empty stubby or tinny at you so as to get them a new one 2.  They will say “am I going to get any service?”   and 3.  My  least favourite they say “yes please Emmie thank you”  I think it is so rude!!!  They never ask they just expect and to top it off they leave all their money on the counter and expect you to count it all out for them, they are so lazy.  If this was back home they wouldn’t get served, it just erks me the way they expect so much, they have no manners.  There is this older woman that comes in every morning for 2 or 3 pots of XXXX Gold.  She used to work at the bar years ago so if she is finished her glass and you are not there at that moment she will get up go behind the bar and pour herself a drink!!!  Honestly back home, if the bartender is not their you wait for your drink, it happens sometimes and that is what really bothers me they don’t want any time in between their drinks, they want them right there right then and when you don’t ask or get your own to me it is just rude to the bartender.  One time I asked one of the regulars if he wanted another one and he said “no I have to go”  a few minutes later he was gone so I grabbed his glass dumbed what was left (which was barley a sip).  Next thing I know he is at the bar asking what I did with his glass “I thought you left you said you had to go” “ya I went to the toilet and you dump my beer”  what would your impression be if someone said they didn’t want another drink because they had to go???  So I poured him a full beer on the house.  Cunt!
There is Gator…me and him do not get along…he is this old drunken fisherman that comes in.  He is apparently a great guy when sober but unfortunately I have never seen him sober and get the shitty end of the stick.  He never showers so he smells and is dirty and his personality is well let’s just say he is not my cup of tea.  He makes comments and what he thinks are  jokes that I personally don’t find funny “You don’t have much of a sense of humour do you.” “yes of course I do, but I only laugh when I think something is funny”  “so you don’t have a sense of humour then.” “like I said when something is funny I laugh, I don’t think you are funny.”  Steve (manager) said “if gator gets drunk kick him out, if he talks back or rude kick him out, if he starts shit kick him out in fact if he comes in just kick him out!”  So the other day Gator comes in and of course as soon as he sees me he starts.  “see that girl right there, she doesn’t like Australians.  She doesn’t get the Australian humour, she doesn’t like us.”  “Excuse me!” I said “Don’t say those things Gator”  “But that’s what you said when you were standing right there” “Excuse me!  Don’t you dare stand there and put fucking words in my mouth that I did not say.” “But you stood right there…”  “I said nothing of the sort and I would appreciate you didn’t walk up to people and say that I am saying these things.” “But its true you don’t get the humour or like us you don’t laugh”  “no I like Australians Gator and I do laugh but not at you I don’t think your funny now fuck off”  Later Steve said “don’t argue with him while working it doesn’t look good just kick him out next time.”  Next time was about 10 minutes later, I went to pick some glasses up from a table and as I walked by Gator says “you’ve got a little bit of fucking attitude don’t you.”  “Get out Gator!” Everyone starts laughing.  “I haven’t finished my beer”  “That sounds like a personal problem!”  Out he went lol, it’s funny now but man he gets my blood boiling.  There are always people like him coming in and out, there are quite a few drunks in there every day with no shoes, no shirts with the scent of the fisherman’s cologne –fish!!!  Sometimes I can’t even tell if they are drunk are sober it’s almost like they are the same either way plus their eyes are always bloodshot so most of the time I don’t know.  There is one woman who will remain nameless who is a drunk and a drunken bitch at that. Who argues with me when I won’t give her what she thinks she deserves.  We had a promotion going on and had run out of prizes so she got mad at me and wanted to talk to the manager.  I told her he was on vacation and that talking to him wouldn’t help we had no more prizes left and she still continued to argue with me.  I hate serving her when she comes in because she is always half in the bag. 
Some of the locals are also very judgmental, the comments that come out of their mouth are unbelievable and they are the last people who should be commenting on others.  If you do your hair nice to work they asked you what you did to it.  If I where my hooded dress it’s Red Riding Hood, if I wear my sundress it’s “so not Australian”.  I have had one man sit there and tell me how he didn’t like my tattoos but he wasn’t knocking them, another woman tell me I had too many piercings in my face.  Yesterday at the bottle shop this old fat guy with no shirt got upset with me and told me if I took my nose ring out I would be able to think better.  I looked at his fat disgusting body that was not covered by a shirt and bit my tongue all I said was “maybe you should shut up and hand me your money to pay for your alcohol and get out of my face.”  The other night there was this obnoxiously drunk guy who wouldn’t stop staring at me and he creeped me out because his eyes looked like a deer caught in the head lights.  He was driving everyone nuts “Emmie when do you get off work” “when you are in bed sleeping” I replied everyone laughed.  He then stood there and told Tony (one of the regulars) how he would like to kiss me and sleep with me. So gross. Honestly, I love bartending but I have never hated it so much, the way some of the people are here just makes me want to poke my own eyes out.  I would rather work for tips,  we make good wages but to me I can still make way more at home and with the shit I put up with $20 an hour doesn’t seem to be enough lol.  Oh and have I forgotten to mention how the men here especially the old ones where really short shorts!!! It’s so gross! The heavier ones where them too and when they sit down the shorts tighten and all you can see is the “moose knuckle” bulge and you can almost see right up their shorts – I think I just puked in my mouth a little while I typed that. 
Now don’t get me wrong as much as there is the shitty people there are also the awesome people.  There is Chicken who we all absolutely love.  He is one of the nicest and genuine people up here, he doesn’t hound you for a drink he knows you will get to him when you get the time. Camo -  an older fisherman - drinks Strongbow Dry and always puts a smile on my face when I see him.  Sloanie who drinks a Sloanie, yes they have named a drink after him.  Another guy comes in but I can’t remember his name but he always (just like the other regulars) drinks the same thing and when somebody makes a comment at me or to me he tells them not to piss me off because he knows I am feisty behind the bar and won’t take shit. Cowboy who is an older gentleman who always where’s a cowboy hat (a Calgary one),  he walks slow and shuffles his feet across the floor and talks so quiet you have to strain your ears to hear him. When you hand him a drink he says “thank you young lady” he is so sweet.  There is the daytime crowd Dave and Neville who have taken Liz and I croc spotting a couple weeks ago.  We saw 15 of them.  Neville stayed at the front of the boat and was the official croc spotter, he would bang on the boat and point when he saw one.  They are long and look like logs the only difference is that the crocs have a white tint to them.  He even hopped off at one point to wrestle a baby croc so we could get a picture but it stealthily crawled into the water before he could get to it.  Some of them were massive, and they are very creepy looking though at the same time they are so beautiful, we actually got really close to some of them and got some awesome pictures.  When they get into the water all they leave out are their little round eyes and their nostrils, CREEPY!  After all the croc spotting we took the boat out to the point and enjoyed a beautiful sunset with some drinks.  By the time we got back to the dock I had to pee soo bad.  I could barley hold it in, it hurt so bad.  Neville told me to run, “are you crazy!  It will squeeze out of me”  I felt like I was going to burst!  After a wonderful trip to the toilet we headed back to Dave and Neville’s place for a bbq with local seafood. Man let me tell you how good it was, prawns, mud crab which are soo good and bugs.  Yup bugs, they are a type of crayfish and let me tell you they are fucking amazing.  I was covered in seafood by the time I was done, I was in heaven.  Backpackers do not get to eat seafood too often as it is not cheap but this is a fishing town so there is a ton of it and the locals give us free seafood, it’s great.
There are the girls that come in Sam, Tara and her mom Pat.  They are really sweet and we usually have drinks with them at the bar.  Liz and I met up with them last Saturday at the Karumba Catch Seafood Festival.  I had so much fun.  I was debating whether to go or not.  It’s not that I didn’t want to but I was arguing with myself whether to spend the money or not.  I am up here to work and save money but I don’t not want to enjoy my time up here, if I am going to spend two months up here I might as well enjoy myself right?  So after a bit of an argument with myself I decided to go out and enjoy myself and man was it worth it.  It was tropical theme so we put on pretty dresses and drank $5 marguerita’s. Man were they ever good and so strong, there was so much tequila in them. I took one sip and said “see you tomorrow girls.”  We just sat at the table and the only time we moved was to go to the toilet or fill up on our margs.  There was a band and games, kids did the limbo – they are so funny to watch, a jell-o eating competition,  I sat back with my margs and just enjoyed.  When our cash ran out and they ran out of margs at the bar we went back to Animal and had some drinks there till it closed and then about 20 of us headed down to the docks for dock drinks and partied till about 2 in the morning.
I woke up the next morning feeling a little under the weather but I slept in and then showered and felt fine everyone else on the other hand…not so good.  Becky had to clean rooms and was sick three times and had to nap on one of the beds while she was cleaning.  A few of the other girls were really ill the next morning…so glad I was feeling fine.  I mixed so bad and was able to keep myself together…its because I am Canadian ;).
So to go off track a little bit; when I was in Cali I had the nick name Lady GaGa (I might have written about that in Cali blogs). Here I am literally in the middle of nowhere and the regulars-I’m talking about men in their 50’s or older) calling me GaGa. I can’t believe it, I couldn’t even believe they knew who she was lol.  The name has literally followed me to the other side of the world. Personally…I think it’s great…love her…so I don’t mind.  GaGa in Karumba…haha who would’ve thought.
Its taken me almost 3 weeks but I am really starting to love it out here.  I love everyone that works here, it’s like a little family. When I work I tell myself this is a place I will never come back to and that thought makes me appreciate it so much more and even though not everything about this place is enjoyable it is such an experience and am so glad I have the opportunity to be in a place like this.


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