Monday, August 8, 2011

From the Bottom of the Sea to the Top of the Sky!!!

What an incredible fucking week I've had in Cairns!!!  I have just had some of the best days of my life!  The fears I have conquered,  the things I have done and the people I have met in the past week have just been incrdible!!!
Friday I was sitting outside at my hostel having a cigarette when these two guys told me to come sit with them.  I had a few drinks with them and soon learned that they were skydivers.  One sentence led to another and next thing I knew I had booked a jump for the next morning.
The next morning I woke up and thought "I am jumping out of a plane today!"  I get dressed, go downstairs to wait for my shuttle.  CANCELLED!!! Due to high winds.  They pushed it to 3 but I never ended up jumping.  Well it is was Friday and the guy I was jumping with wasn't working on the weekend so I wanted to wait till he was back on....but I really didn't want to sit around for 2 days and wait.   I had a lot on my mind lately and I just couldn't bare the thought of sitting around doing nothing and being depressed.  So I asked the front desk if there was an over night trip on the Great Barrier Reef.  I ended up with a trip for 2 nights and 3 days on a liverboat for the price of 1 night 2 days and was leaving the next day.   I booked my skydive for the morning after I got back, packed my bags and was off the next morning for the Great Barrier Reef.
I wasn't gonna go to the Reef, I don't like the openwater, well actually I am afraid of the open water, fish creep me out, I am terrified of sharks and I have a tendancy to get a bit sea sick; but hey, what is the point of travelling if I am not going to try new things so I figured I would give snorkelling a try.  
It took about two hours for us to get to the liverboat and it was a really rocky ride,  people were puking off the front and the back of the boat.   My head did feel a little funny but I had met this Canadian guy named Kyle and we stood right out the front and talked the whole way over to our boat.  It was so bumpy,  I was holding on for dear life not wanting to fly off  and to top it off it was raining so we were soaked. 
My home for the next three days was the Kangaroo Explorer, 3 meals a day, free tea and coffee all day and snack time and 5 dives a day.  My sea legs took a bit to get used to but I did like being rocked to bed at night I found it relaxing though when I woke up the next morning and go up for breakfast I did fall over lol. 
We had lunch, and then a meeting about where we were snorkelling and then it was time for our first snorkel.  I was nervous.  I don't like the open water and it was quite rough out there and I am not the strongest swimmer.  Our guide told me to stick near her.   It was sooo beautiful.  First of all the water out there is so blue, I have never seen anything like it,  its like freezy blue/Rev blue it was amazing and the reef was incredible there was so much to look at it is a different world under the water I really cant explain the beauty.  I was so proud of myself when I got back, swimming in the open water was a big accomplishment for me and I was looking forward to our 4 o'clock snorkel.  By the time the second day rolled around I was a little over the snorkel thing.  The water was rougher and I wasn't a strong swimmer so it was difficult for me to get out to the reef and I still wasn't overly comfortable with the open water thing,  it was still uncomfortable and I panicked a little bit.  Now dont' get me wrong I loved being out there especially with the dolphins swimming along side our boat first thing in the morning and how with the first snorkel of the day the ocean was alive because everything was waking up but it was just so much work and such a struggle to get out there that I wasn't enjoying it.
I was over the water thing.  The water was even rougher and it was a struggle for me to get out to the reef and I still wasn’t comfortable swimming in the open water…but I wanted to be down with the divers oddly enough.  Once in a while I could see them swimming below me and it looked way better then where I was; plus I thought if I could swim down in the water instead of on top of the water maybe I would feel more comfortable. 
There was a meeting for an introductory dive that night,  I wasn`t going to go till the next morning but sat in on the meeting anyways.  Martin, one of my snorkelling buddies and Emily a girl I had met on my last snorkel (who doesn`t like open water either) and a few others were all going that day so I figured I might go as well.
Wet suits on, flippers with socks (they didn’t have any small enough for my feet) and a tank-thought I was gonna fall over and it was time to dive! Your telling me when I jump in with this tank I am gonna float? Yup I floated.  So now I am in the water holding on to the boat waiting my turn to get 5meters down to the safety bar.  I had my face in the water looking down practicing my breathing. What is your automatic reaction when you put your head/face in the water?  To stop breathing right?  I had to keep telling myself to breath normal,  I have had this horrible broncular cough wich has been making me out of breath plus my nerves about diving and I was anxious (I didn’t know if you have anxiety you are technically not supposed to dive).  Anyways Ned got Emily down and she was waiting for us on the safety bar,  now it was Lisa’s turn, good I can still practice my breathing.  Lisa panicked (her me and Emily do not like the open water).  Ned wanted to give her some time to relax so it was now my turn.  Down we go or attempted at least I not very far down I felt the pressure change and I felt like someone was sitting on my  chest and I felt like I couldn’t breath so Ned brought me back up.  We did this a few times.  I kept looking down at the safety bar thinking “I want to be down there, but if I am down there and I feel like I can’t breath it is a long way back up”  I kept psyching myself out.  “I want to try again”  so down we go.  I panicked a little bit but he kept me there and pointed at his eyes so I would concentrate on him then he took my right hand and put it over his heart so I could feel his relaxed heartbeat.  I started to come down I could feel us getting lower in the water, then I felt like I couldn’t breath and I panicked.  Up we went and back on the boat.  I was so frustrated!!! “It’s ok diving is not for everyone”  all I wanted to do was get down there.  I had booked a sky dive for a couple days after this and if I can jump out of a plane and conquer my fear of heights I wanted to conquer the water as well.  I planned to try and dive again the next morning.
The next day I skipped the 6:30 and 8:00 snorkel.  I wanted to be relaxed and not exert my lungs before my dive.  I was ready for the dive,  I was going to get down to the safety bar,  I was really determined to do it. Now just to stray away from the dive for a minute there are hand signals that you they teach before you get in the water.  The ok sign with your thumb and pointer finger together – ok. Thumbs up – lets go up, hand from side to side – something is wrong, and we learned other signs for certain fish.  “Ok” I say to the girls “we need a sign in case one of us is panicking so the other know. Just raise your hands and shake them by your head!”
 Wetsuit, flippers with socks and tank – you get the big one this time- I felt like I had my backpack on it was so heavy.  Into the water we get.  It was Emily, Lisa and I and Joel the instructor.  Emily goes down first (as she had gone yesterday and had already conquered her fear) then it’s my turn.  Down we go and up we go. Down we go and up we go.  I still felt like I couldn’t breathe. I was getting so frustrated because all I wanted to do was get down to the safety bar but I didn’t like the feeling.  Down we go again.  Now we are at the bottom stair of the boat.  Joel points down, I shake my head, he points to his mouth piece – just breath, we get a bit lower.  We equalize.  He gives me the ok sign, I give it back we go a bit lower.  I look down, Emily is sitting there with her camera so I wave. We get lower.  Next thing I knew I was down near the safety bar, I was so excited I could barely hold on to it.  I had one hand on but I fell off and was kicking around.  Joel puts me back on but my hands were all over the place he takes my hands and places them properly – I was like an excited toddler that need there parent to calm them down.  He gives us the ok sign and swims up to get Lisa.  I look at Emily and wave,  she waves and takes a picture.  I was so excited I just wanted to hug someone so I slid a little bit across the bar, she slides back a bit.  I slide again she slid back again, I slid she slid so I gave up and just sat there.  I looked around. All I saw was blue, it was like I was sitting in a Rev bottle and the sound is relaxing yet eerie.  A bit of panic set in.  I tapped Emily and moved my hand from side to side, she puts her hands face up and shrugs her shoulders,  I wave my hands beside me head and then slid closer to her this time she didn’t slide back.  Then like an angel coming down from the heavens Joel and Lisa were just above us.  Thank god!!!  He linked arms with Lisa and me and we were on our way. 
He started going deeper and I tapped him, pointed down and shook my head.  “Are you fucking crazy” I was thinking “this is deep enough”  yet slowly but surely he got me down to the 10 meters.  This was so much easier then snorkelling, no fighting currents and waves and there was no struggle against waves and I was breathing normal I felt quite relaxed, and it was so quiet.  The sound down there is a little eerie I kept thinking about a song that should be playing while we were down there. Then out of nowhere we were surrounded by the reef.  It was so beautiful.  The colours, the fish, the underwater life all in a three dimensional perspective.  Everywhere I looked there was something to see, I just wanted to reach out and touch everything, it was like nothing I had ever experienced before.  There was a big clam and I mean massive, the thing was huge,  Joel and Lisa touched and it closed and then blew out from its center which honestly looked like the female genitals.  We swam around looking at Nemo’s and coral and the most colourful fish I have ever seen and at one point the clouds broke and the sun just shone right down into the water and the colours got even more intense.  I could’ve stayed down there forever but it was time to say goodbye and head back up to the boat.
We were so proud of ourselves when we got back on the boat.  Lisa and I definatly felt like we had conquered a big fear and were floating around the rest of the day. The sun was shining and everyone was literally laying out on every spot possible basking in the sun enjoying our last few hours before the boat came to pick us up and bring us back to land.
I had just gotten used to my sea legs and being back on land was a bit of a struggle.  I actually felt a little nauseous and I fell over a bit.  Showering was really weird, I was moving and swaying from side to side but the rest of the world wasn’t , it was so weird.  
The next morning I was up bright and early for my skydive.  I was going with one of the girls that I had met at the hostel –Nicole .  I was so happy when I saw her in the morning,  it was nice to be going with someone and not on my own.  We got really nervous on the bus on our way over but our excitement and anxiousness died down when they had to postbone it for a few hours due to high winds AGAIN!  We wandered around Cairns hoping we would get to jump but in the end all jumps for the rest of the day were cancelled.  I booked in for the first flight the next day and unfortunately Nicole had to cancel because she was going White Water Rafting the next day.
We went for dinner at the Woolshed and met up with some people I had met on the boat, Hamish, Emily and her friend Richard that she met bungy jumping that day.  Lisa and her boyfriend ended up being there so we of course took pictures and gave eachother hugs and then Nicole and I went back to the hostel because we both had to be up early the next morning.
I wasn’t even nervous or excited when I woke up.  I was sick of getting worked up for it and it not happening.  If it got cancelled one more time I was just going to say forget it.  We watched the training video and then they piled us into the bus.  Ok I have now made it further then before this is a good thing.   All they  instructors were like “who is so and so?  Hey I’m so and so and I am jumping with you.”  All I get from Coops is “Emmie sit at the back” and then he sat at the front, “gee thanks!”  We get to the airport and he puts my harness on me and then we all start walking to the plane.  “oh shit, I forgot about the plane thing.  I am ready to jump but I forgot I had to get in a plane I hate planes!” Everyone starts laughing.  This plane was so small.  They basically squish like 15 of us in this thing.  There are two benches on either side and everyone is straddling one another and the first jumper sits on the floor.  Man I was sweating when the plane took off – Sally-one of the girls I met on the bus held my hand because I was freaking out.  9000 ft!  This is where Sally and her friend Penny get dropped off.  I’m looking out of my window thinking I don’t know if I want to go any higher than this, this is really fucking high.  The door opens! I push myself against the wall! “you don’t’ like that door do you?” says Coops.  “I’ve got to jump out of that fucking door” I was thinking.  Do you have any idea what it is like to watch somebody jump out of a plane? You see them go and the next thing you know you hear a loud sucking sound and they are gone!  I was freaking out!  What the hell did I get myself into this time.  Sally and Penny both jump, door is closed and we keep climbing.  The door opens again “we are going third” Coops tells me.  Again I am watching people get sucked into the air.  I was fucking scared but I really wanted off the plane… I was so not enjoying the plane ride.  Ok it’s our turn.  We scooch to the door, Coops crosses my hands over my chest and puts my head back.  I open my mouth scream and the next thing I know I am falling through the sky. THIS IS FUCKING INCREDIBLE!  IT’S NOT EVEN SCARY! FUCK AM I HAPPY TO BE OUT OF THE PLANE! I couldn’t believe what I was experiencing. I kept trying to scream “woohoo” but nothing was coming out.  Our free fall was 60 seconds and we fell 10,000 feet, but you don’t even feel like your falling, you don’t see the world coming at you and your stomach doesn’t go up to your throat, it’s a feeling of pure freedom.  There was a videographer that jumped who was filming and we were waving at him.  It’s so weird to be falling through the air and then you meet up with someone along the way, he even went through a cloud with us!  Coops pulls the shute and we get pulled up and the camera guy just got smaller. This is when my stomach went up to my throat.  He spun  us around as the shute opens up, oh this part doesn’t feel to good,  a little queezy here. Then we are floating slowly in the sky. “It’s a bit cold in that cloud isn’t it?”  honestly the temperature dropped quite a bit and had made me a little cold.  I got to steer my parachute around, Coops would make us do big swoops but when I told him it made me a little queezy he stopped as he has been puked on before. He pointed everything out to me like a tour guide, the sugar cane fields the mountains…to be honest I really don’t remember the view I wasn’t really paying attention I was concentrating more on how I felt and I felt amazing…actually I felt better then amazing, there are really no words to describe it.   I was buzzing for the rest of the day. I had never felt this before, I wish I could feel that alive everyday!  I couldn’t stop talking about it or watching the video.  I started drinking with some of the guys around 3 and just kept going to the late hours of the night.  It was such a great night, man we drank so much.  Coops and them came by the hostel as they usually do and we just threw back the drinks.  Emily stopped by to say goodbye, I shed some tears.  In the three days that we were friends she had such an impact on my trip and we had incredible conversations that I didn’t want to say goodbye and being overly emotional that day and being drunk the tears flowed out.  I don’t usually cry when I say goodbye to friends I have met traveling, but there have been a few on this trip that have really touched my heart.
The next morning I wasn’t feeling quite up to par, I was really hurting from the night before but had so much stuff to do as I was leaving the next day and was already behind schedule because I slept in.  I went into town, bought my skydive shirt and groceries and went to go grab the hostel shuttle.  A few of the guys from the hostel were getting dropped off and decided to kidnap me and take me for food and beer because it was my last night.  I got to listen to them talk about how they lost their virginity…it was actually quite funny.  Anyways that night was an early night for me as I was off the next morning to the middle of nowhere for two months.
I know I say this quite a bit when I leave a place but I was really gutted to leave Cairns.  The 8 days I had there were amazing and I met some incredible people and overcame some major fears.  I could’ve stayed there and gotten a job but I didn’t want to get sucked into a place again, I want to keep going and that’s what I am going to be doing in no man’s land.

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