Karumba Life GaGa Style!

Now that I have gotten all the mushy stuff out of my system about being homesick I can write about Karumba life.  It’s an interesting little place to be that’s for sure, and I don’t mean that in a way “wow that’s really interesting”  I mean it more of a ….well….I don’t even know how to explain how I mean it to be honest lol.  Let’s see if I can explain this. 

The Animal Bar Regulars, they are something else.  Some are awesome and others you just want to knock out their remaining teeth.  There are the late afternoon regulars who come in everyday around the same time, sit at the same spots at the bar and drink the same thing every day.  When they are done their drinks they will put it on the bar and wait for you to notice it, and if by chance you don’t notice one of 3 things happens.  1. They wave their empty stubby or tinny at you so as to get them a new one 2.  They will say “am I going to get any service?”   and 3.  My  least favourite they say “yes please Emmie thank you”  I think it is so rude!!!  They never ask they just expect and to top it off they leave all their money on the counter and expect you to count it all out for them, they are so lazy.  If this was back home they wouldn’t get served, it just erks me the way they expect so much, they have no manners.  There is this older woman that comes in every morning for 2 or 3 pots of XXXX Gold.  She used to work at the bar years ago so if she is finished her glass and you are not there at that moment she will get up go behind the bar and pour herself a drink!!!  Honestly back home, if the bartender is not their you wait for your drink, it happens sometimes and that is what really bothers me they don’t want any time in between their drinks, they want them right there right then and when you don’t ask or get your own to me it is just rude to the bartender.  One time I asked one of the regulars if he wanted another one and he said “no I have to go”  a few minutes later he was gone so I grabbed his glass dumbed what was left (which was barley a sip).  Next thing I know he is at the bar asking what I did with his glass “I thought you left you said you had to go” “ya I went to the toilet and you dump my beer”  what would your impression be if someone said they didn’t want another drink because they had to go???  So I poured him a full beer on the house.  Cunt!

There is Gator…me and him do not get along…he is this old drunken fisherman that comes in.  He is apparently a great guy when sober but unfortunately I have never seen him sober and get the shitty end of the stick.  He never showers so he smells and is dirty and his personality is well let’s just say he is not my cup of tea.  He makes comments and what he thinks are  jokes that I personally don’t find funny “You don’t have much of a sense of humour do you.” “yes of course I do, but I only laugh when I think something is funny”  “so you don’t have a sense of humour then.” “like I said when something is funny I laugh, I don’t think you are funny.”  Steve (manager) said “if gator gets drunk kick him out, if he talks back or rude kick him out, if he starts shit kick him out in fact if he comes in just kick him out!”  So the other day Gator comes in and of course as soon as he sees me he starts.  “see that girl right there, she doesn’t like Australians.  She doesn’t get the Australian humour, she doesn’t like us.”  “Excuse me!” I said “Don’t say those things Gator”  “But that’s what you said when you were standing right there” “Excuse me!  Don’t you dare stand there and put fucking words in my mouth that I did not say.” “But you stood right there…”  “I said nothing of the sort and I would appreciate you didn’t walk up to people and say that I am saying these things.” “But its true you don’t get the humour or like us you don’t laugh”  “no I like Australians Gator and I do laugh but not at you I don’t think your funny now fuck off”  Later Steve said “don’t argue with him while working it doesn’t look good just kick him out next time.”  Next time was about 10 minutes later, I went to pick some glasses up from a table and as I walked by Gator says “you’ve got a little bit of fucking attitude don’t you.”  “Get out Gator!” Everyone starts laughing.  “I haven’t finished my beer”  “That sounds like a personal problem!”  Out he went lol, it’s funny now but man he gets my blood boiling.  There are always people like him coming in and out, there are quite a few drunks in there every day with no shoes, no shirts with the scent of the fisherman’s cologne –fish!!!  Sometimes I can’t even tell if they are drunk are sober it’s almost like they are the same either way plus their eyes are always bloodshot so most of the time I don’t know.  There is one woman who will remain nameless who is a drunk and a drunken bitch at that. Who argues with me when I won’t give her what she thinks she deserves.  We had a promotion going on and had run out of prizes so she got mad at me and wanted to talk to the manager.  I told her he was on vacation and that talking to him wouldn’t help we had no more prizes left and she still continued to argue with me.  I hate serving her when she comes in because she is always half in the bag. 

Some of the locals are also very judgmental, the comments that come out of their mouth are unbelievable and they are the last people who should be commenting on others.  If you do your hair nice to work they asked you what you did to it.  If I where my hooded dress it’s Red Riding Hood, if I wear my sundress it’s “so not Australian”.  I have had one man sit there and tell me how he didn’t like my tattoos but he wasn’t knocking them, another woman tell me I had too many piercings in my face.  Yesterday at the bottle shop this old fat guy with no shirt got upset with me and told me if I took my nose ring out I would be able to think better.  I looked at his fat disgusting body that was not covered by a shirt and bit my tongue all I said was “maybe you should shut up and hand me your money to pay for your alcohol and get out of my face.”  The other night there was this obnoxiously drunk guy who wouldn’t stop staring at me and he creeped me out because his eyes looked like a deer caught in the head lights.  He was driving everyone nuts “Emmie when do you get off work” “when you are in bed sleeping” I replied everyone laughed.  He then stood there and told Tony (one of the regulars) how he would like to kiss me and sleep with me. So gross. Honestly, I love bartending but I have never hated it so much, the way some of the people are here just makes me want to poke my own eyes out.  I would rather work for tips,  we make good wages but to me I can still make way more at home and with the shit I put up with $20 an hour doesn’t seem to be enough lol.  Oh and have I forgotten to mention how the men here especially the old ones where really short shorts!!! It’s so gross! The heavier ones where them too and when they sit down the shorts tighten and all you can see is the “moose knuckle” bulge and you can almost see right up their shorts – I think I just puked in my mouth a little while I typed that. 

Now don’t get me wrong as much as there is the shitty people there are also the awesome people.  There is Chicken who we all absolutely love.  He is one of the nicest and genuine people up here, he doesn’t hound you for a drink he knows you will get to him when you get the time. Camo -  an older fisherman - drinks Strongbow Dry and always puts a smile on my face when I see him.  Sloanie who drinks a Sloanie, yes they have named a drink after him.  Another guy comes in but I can’t remember his name but he always (just like the other regulars) drinks the same thing and when somebody makes a comment at me or to me he tells them not to piss me off because he knows I am feisty behind the bar and won’t take shit. Cowboy who is an older gentleman who always where’s a cowboy hat (a Calgary one),  he walks slow and shuffles his feet across the floor and talks so quiet you have to strain your ears to hear him. When you hand him a drink he says “thank you young lady” he is so sweet.  There is the daytime crowd Dave and Neville who have taken Liz and I croc spotting a couple weeks ago.  We saw 15 of them.  Neville stayed at the front of the boat and was the official croc spotter, he would bang on the boat and point when he saw one.  They are long and look like logs the only difference is that the crocs have a white tint to them.  He even hopped off at one point to wrestle a baby croc so we could get a picture but it stealthily crawled into the water before he could get to it.  Some of them were massive, and they are very creepy looking though at the same time they are so beautiful, we actually got really close to some of them and got some awesome pictures.  When they get into the water all they leave out are their little round eyes and their nostrils, CREEPY!  After all the croc spotting we took the boat out to the point and enjoyed a beautiful sunset with some drinks.  By the time we got back to the dock I had to pee soo bad.  I could barley hold it in, it hurt so bad.  Neville told me to run, “are you crazy!  It will squeeze out of me”  I felt like I was going to burst!  After a wonderful trip to the toilet we headed back to Dave and Neville’s place for a bbq with local seafood. Man let me tell you how good it was, prawns, mud crab which are soo good and bugs.  Yup bugs, they are a type of crayfish and let me tell you they are fucking amazing.  I was covered in seafood by the time I was done, I was in heaven.  Backpackers do not get to eat seafood too often as it is not cheap but this is a fishing town so there is a ton of it and the locals give us free seafood, it’s great.

There are the girls that come in Sam, Tara and her mom Pat.  They are really sweet and we usually have drinks with them at the bar.  Liz and I met up with them last Saturday at the Karumba Catch Seafood Festival.  I had so much fun.  I was debating whether to go or not.  It’s not that I didn’t want to but I was arguing with myself whether to spend the money or not.  I am up here to work and save money but I don’t not want to enjoy my time up here, if I am going to spend two months up here I might as well enjoy myself right?  So after a bit of an argument with myself I decided to go out and enjoy myself and man was it worth it.  It was tropical theme so we put on pretty dresses and drank $5 marguerita’s. Man were they ever good and so strong, there was so much tequila in them. I took one sip and said “see you tomorrow girls.”  We just sat at the table and the only time we moved was to go to the toilet or fill up on our margs.  There was a band and games, kids did the limbo – they are so funny to watch, a jell-o eating competition,  I sat back with my margs and just enjoyed.  When our cash ran out and they ran out of margs at the bar we went back to Animal and had some drinks there till it closed and then about 20 of us headed down to the docks for dock drinks and partied till about 2 in the morning.

I woke up the next morning feeling a little under the weather but I slept in and then showered and felt fine everyone else on the other hand…not so good.  Becky had to clean rooms and was sick three times and had to nap on one of the beds while she was cleaning.  A few of the other girls were really ill the next morning…so glad I was feeling fine.  I mixed so bad and was able to keep myself together…its because I am Canadian ;).

So to go off track a little bit; when I was in Cali I had the nick name Lady GaGa (I might have written about that in Cali blogs). Here I am literally in the middle of nowhere and the regulars-I’m talking about men in their 50’s or older) calling me GaGa. I can’t believe it, I couldn’t even believe they knew who she was lol.  The name has literally followed me to the other side of the world. Personally…I think it’s great…love her…so I don’t mind.  GaGa in Karumba…haha who would’ve thought.

Its taken me almost 3 weeks but I am really starting to love it out here.  I love everyone that works here, it’s like a little family. When I work I tell myself this is a place I will never come back to and that thought makes me appreciate it so much more and even though not everything about this place is enjoyable it is such an experience and am so glad I have the opportunity to be in a place like this.

I Miss...

It's been a couple weeks since I have written a blog.  When I write them I like to make sure I have been waiting to tell you of some massively crazy story about my time so far here in Karumba and to be honest my mind is a blank.  Not that nothing has happened just nothing really overly exciting.

Life here is alright.  My body has climatized to the heat here and I now wear stories or something funny to write about, so I have a cardigan when it is 25 degrees here because that is a cool day lol.  We have ants in what we call the kitchen and our kitchen sink and I found one in my bed.  We have geko's in the 6 pack as well, there was one in my room the other night.  I turned the light on and you see something literally fly at top speed across the wall, the little fuckers move so fast.  We had a toad in the kitchen sink.  I went to turn it on and it hopped out on to the faucet and I screamed.  My housemate came in and we stood there for 5 minutes staring at the running water with the toad on the faucet trying to figure out a way to turn it off without it jumping.  Liz picked up a spatula and stuck it out and tried to turn the faucet but it obviously didn't work, finally after moving with slow agility she turned it off.  The door handle fell off one of the bathroom doors and Liz got locked in and had to knock and call my name to get her out.  We don't watch tv because we only have 5 channels, news, sports and one music station.  Work is alright, it's definatly a different experience working in a place like this - but that is another story for another blog. I am loving having my own room, itt's really nice having my own space and some privacy considering we live and work together everyday.  The other morning one of the girls was up early and I was thinking, please don't come in the room I just want to sleep and then remembered I had a room all to myself, it's so nice having space away from others. I love being able to come home and close my door, put on some music watch a movie, change in privacy. I ‘ve been taking advantage of my own space as much as possible. It does get boring but it's like this quote ( I can't remember it word for word) it's along the lines of "we travel just to search in places for the comforts of home" it's so true, I miss home.  I've been really homesick since I have gotten out to Population 600.  I miss Tim Hortons, moms cooking, hugs, my friends, my closet though I wouldn't know what to do with all the clothes in it.  My clothes have gone to shit.  Everything is either riped, stained, has a whole or has been worn so much you can't even say it's material anymore.  All the washing machines are ruining everything I wear or just wearing them constantly is wearing them down it is so depressing.  I have even gotten rid of stuff, given stuff away or gotten people -Ryan-to take stuff home for me because I can't fit it in my bag.  Miss Fashionista has turned into Miss Lack-of-fashionista, it's so depressing.  If I was home I would be wearing my ripped jeans, stiletos, my blue shirt, knitted grey jacket and jewellery, oh my jewellery how I miss thee lol.  It's actually really depressing how lack of clothes I am.  My leggings which have become my staple pants are so ruined my black pair have holes all in the ass so I have to wear a long shirt with them and my jeggings are covered in bleach stains...I DON'T USE BLEACH!!!  I'm sick of noodles, expensive alcohol and over priced food and food with no taste.  I miss people that sound like me.  Having an accent is fun at first but the novelty wears off after awhile.  I miss my car which means in my case I miss my licence,  I miss my parents and I miss my furry bundle of joy curling up with me when I go to sleep at night, I miss my big bed with all of its pillows and its big fluffy doona.  I miss curling up on my couch with wine and pizza with my mom and CJ and watching movies, I miss getting drunk with Pauly, I  miss maternal hugs, my own bathroom and my big tea mugs where I can make bottomless cups of tea.  Man there is so much I miss but, I wouldn't want to be anywhere but here right now.  As much as I miss those things I don't miss them enough to come home, it sounds wierd but it's true.  Next week I will have been gone 6 months!!! 6 months can you believe it!!!  I can't believe it's almost that long or should I say short?  It feels like I have been gone forever but yet it feels like I just left yesterday.  I look back on my pictures and can't believe all the things I have done, places I have been, people I have met. There have been tears, laughter, broken hearts, adventures, parties, movie nights, road trips, arguments, conquering fears amazing friendships and so much more that I can't begin to list them off.  I think " this has been my life for the last 6 months...and it's incrdible and I still have so much more to go.  I am so looking forward with what the rest of my travels have in store for me.

With that being said, the ripped clothes, lack of wardrobe, a noodle diet, expensive food and alcohol and constantly living with others, ants, singing geckos in my room having tea in small tea cups is all worth it, and as much as I am homesick I wouldn't give any of it up it's all part of my adventure and I know I will look back on all of this and smile even on my time here in Karumba.

I miss you all xox

The Outback by the Sea

I have done pretty much nothing in the last week but yet I have so much to write about.  I am currently in the Gulf Savannah in a little town called Karumba.  Let me rewind a little bit.  The day mine and Nicole’s skydive got cancelled I went to a job agency to see what was available-the reason I came to Cairns was to find farm work for a few months.  There was a lodge 11 hours outside of Cairns looking for a new bartender as one of theirs was leaving.  I was interested but there was a catch.  This agency charged you a fee, they wouldn’t even call the place until you paid them the fee, plus on top of that my bus fair to get out there was almost $150 and I was so skint on money at this point.  The agency fee gives you a year membership, free internet at their locations and free coupons for local pubs and shops but once they get you the job they have no responsibility for you and when you get back and want to find another job they charge you a fee again.  I know, bullshit right? Well it was either this or go work at the burger shop around the corner…I paid the fee and 3 days later at 6am I hopped on the Greyhound for a long 11 hour ride. 

We stopped off at a place called Innot Hot Springs where the water is hotter than the hottest days in the outback.  It was a quaint little resort like place, with a pool a shop, cabin like rooms and I believe spots for campervans.  It was quiet and really hot but I could’ve spent a few days there.  I met this little Maori woman who was 4ft nothing, skinny as a beanpole, a cigarette in one hand and a coffee in the other.  I asked her where the hot springs were. “oh this way this way” and she would just keep talking spilling her coffee everywhere and smoking that cigarette.  The gate was locked “ahh look just do this” and she opened it. “Come on, just come through”  I couldn’t believe her skinny little legs were strong enough to hold her up. “oh my coffee” the cup getting emptier and emptier.  She was so cute I couldn’t stop smiling. “Oooo feel the wata it’s hat”  by the time we got back to our bus she barley had any coffee left and I can tell you she didn’t drink it most of it was on her hand and in the grass.

The bus ride was a little painful.  There really wasn’t much to see at all; blue sky, straight road, trees both dead and alive and lots of cows.  At some points the road can only fit one vehicle so when there was one coming at us both vehicles literally had to drive on the shoulder-or what there was of a shoulder.  Thank god for iPods and an external hard drive full of movies and of course the tiny cat naps I had along the way though it didn’t make the ride go any faster.  Finally at about 5:45 I had arrived.  “Is anyone picking you up?” asked an older couple  “haha I hope so”  I hadn’t called them to make sure they were going to be there but they did say on the phone “see you at 5:30 on Friday”  so I was hoping that someone would be there.  “Emmie?!”  “Yup that’s me” I said with a smile and a bit of relief “hi Im Yvonne”  we grabbed my stuff, put it in the trunk and off we were to my new home.

So now here I am in a little remote town called Karumba with a population of 600 located in the Gulf Savannah, a vast stretch of remote northern safari land abounding with wildlife also known as the outback by the sea; and the outback it is.  It’s so fucking hot here.  The locals tell me it’s cold because it’s winter but fuck!  I could not survive a summer here, infact I am wondering how I am going to survive 2 months here. There is a tiny café, a grocer which is so expensive, a clinic a school, a library which includes one wall of books and two shelves in the middle that are pretty empty and 4 computers with internet –which is where I have to go because my internet dongle doesn’t work out here, no cellphone – only one service works out here which isn’t mine but I figure I don’t need one when I am out here.  There is the little flea market which we went to the other day; its oversized clothing and nicknacks this is the only place you can buy clothes!!! There are two lodges with restaurants, Sunset Tavern and the Karumba Lodge which is where I am.  There is not much to it, the lodge part has 24 rooms, there is the Sauve Lounge which is the dining room and all the pokie machines and on the other side is the Famous Animal Bar which is where I work.  Back in the day the Animal Bar was the most dangerous bar to work at in Australia!  There were so many fights that everything was bolted down to the floor so people couldn’t throw anything.  It’s all open concept, with a long bar, 3 pool tables, 3 long high tops with stools a few smaller tables and 3 picnic tables on the lawn.  It doesn’t get busy, but the locals drink enough to keep the place going we have to cut people off all the time.  We are what they call Barmaides which I think is funny. We have the walk up bottle shop which is attached to Animal so during our barmaid shift we are also serving at the bottle-o (as they call it here).  I can not get over how much the locals love their cask wine or better known as Goon, lol it’s kind of funny.  The lodge and bars are run by a couple, Steve and Yvonne.  They are really nice and are great to us.  We live behind the Animal in the Six Pack which is basically an oversized portable with six bedrooms (hence the name six pack), a main room with a couch or more or less a broken couch three arm chairs two of which are broken, a table with two chairs to eat at, a tv with 4 channels, a dvd player but we have no dvd’s. I would like to say we have a kitchen but I don’t know if you would call what we have a kitchen it consists of a long wooden table that we use as a counter, a microwave,  a toaster, toaster oven, a hot plate our sink is on the other side of the six pack where we have an ant infestation so we cant leave anything in the sink and a washing machine that doesn’t work so we have all our dishes on it. Two ceiling fans but only one works and it gets so hot so its usually left on all day, we also have an A/C in each room which is a heaven sent. We have two bathrooms each with a shower; my first morning I went in to use the toilet and couldn’t figure out why it looked like there were little  poop pellits on the counter “that would be the gecko’s, they come in and like to poop on the counter.  Oh and sometimes we get frogs in the bathroom. And the other day there was a brown snake in Animal” “are they dangerous” “yes one of the most deadliest!” You can imagine how I felt when I first got there.  I asked myself the famous question “what the fuck did I get myself into?”

Yonni, Alex’s man friend, took us out on my second day.  We literally went and drove around in the bushes, drove to the dump to see pigs but we only saw a dead one. Yonni pulled over so Alex and Cass could chase the birds.  I look back “guys you left all the doors open to the car my stuff is in there” “do you see anyone around here, we are in the middle of nowhere”  I look around, yup nothing definatley in the middle of nowhere.  We finally saw some pigs.  3 baby ones ran into the bush so Yonni disappears off into the bush.  We were walking around picking stuff up when we heard the pigs snorting and squealing. “Not a fan of that noise” I said “ya me neither” so we start walking back to the car.  Then we see the 3 baby pigs running in a line out of the bush and across the horizon then like a bat out of hell you see Yonni running full speed after the pigs, haha it was so funny.  I am definatly going to learn a new definition for fun while I am out here.  There are no Roo’s here but there are wallabies which Yonni kept stepping on the gas to hit them.  “Yonni please stop trying to kill them it’s not nice” I said “but they are a pest they need to be shot”  “how would you like it if you came to Canada and everytime we saw an Australian we stepped on the gas and said lets hit him they are a pest” he starts roaring with laughter “I think that would be hilarious.” 

The locals here are really nice, they will drive us around or take us out on boats and croc spotting which I have yet to do.  There are also the local fisherman who will bring us in mud crabs.  The miners are great.  Every Wednesday we get a new set of miners in as they get one week on one week off. Dale will order dinner and then order us garlic bread and ice cream – they get a $30 allowance every day for dinner so they keep us fed and we each have ice cream in our freezer because of the miners.  Plus I am the new girl, I am a smarty and they are the fat kids, you can imagine!!! It’s so different out here and boring lol though I have been writing (not just my blog) and reading so its nice.  Matthew (roomie from Fiji who I was hanging out with in Cairns) was actually jealous that I got to come out here.  “Emmmie, that is real Australia!  You get to experience what a lot of backpackers don’t get to experience, it’s going to be amazing.”

Well I have been here a week and the place is starting to grow on me.  The girls I live with are really nice, Liz (English) and Alex (Canada), there was another Canadian here named Cassy but she left on Wednesday morning, she was the one I was replacing.  There are only three of us living here so we get our own rooms which is awesome, it’s really nice to have my own space even if it’s for a short time.  There is not much to do here so on our nights off we usually just go for a few drinks at animal or drink at the six pack.  It’s nice being able to leave for work a minute you have to be there lol, or not really having to go home after work because you are already there.  Saturday is my day off which I am looking forward to, it’s the first day I have something to do.  Liz is done work at 4, one of the locals is coming to pick us up and take us on a boat to go croc spotting and then to a real Aussie barbecue with mud crab, bugs (not sure what they are yet) prawns, vegies and drinks.  I am actually really excited, it’s going to be great, its going to be a real Aussie experience, I think I’m gonna like it here!

From the Bottom of the Sea to the Top of the Sky!!!

What an incredible fucking week I've had in Cairns!!!  I have just had some of the best days of my life!  The fears I have conquered,  the things I have done and the people I have met in the past week have just been incrdible!!!
Friday I was sitting outside at my hostel having a cigarette when these two guys told me to come sit with them.  I had a few drinks with them and soon learned that they were skydivers.  One sentence led to another and next thing I knew I had booked a jump for the next morning.
The next morning I woke up and thought "I am jumping out of a plane today!"  I get dressed, go downstairs to wait for my shuttle.  CANCELLED!!! Due to high winds.  They pushed it to 3 but I never ended up jumping.  Well it is was Friday and the guy I was jumping with wasn't working on the weekend so I wanted to wait till he was back on....but I really didn't want to sit around for 2 days and wait.   I had a lot on my mind lately and I just couldn't bare the thought of sitting around doing nothing and being depressed.  So I asked the front desk if there was an over night trip on the Great Barrier Reef.  I ended up with a trip for 2 nights and 3 days on a liverboat for the price of 1 night 2 days and was leaving the next day.   I booked my skydive for the morning after I got back, packed my bags and was off the next morning for the Great Barrier Reef.
I wasn't gonna go to the Reef, I don't like the openwater, well actually I am afraid of the open water, fish creep me out, I am terrified of sharks and I have a tendancy to get a bit sea sick; but hey, what is the point of travelling if I am not going to try new things so I figured I would give snorkelling a try.  
It took about two hours for us to get to the liverboat and it was a really rocky ride,  people were puking off the front and the back of the boat.   My head did feel a little funny but I had met this Canadian guy named Kyle and we stood right out the front and talked the whole way over to our boat.  It was so bumpy,  I was holding on for dear life not wanting to fly off  and to top it off it was raining so we were soaked. 
My home for the next three days was the Kangaroo Explorer, 3 meals a day, free tea and coffee all day and snack time and 5 dives a day.  My sea legs took a bit to get used to but I did like being rocked to bed at night I found it relaxing though when I woke up the next morning and go up for breakfast I did fall over lol. 
We had lunch, and then a meeting about where we were snorkelling and then it was time for our first snorkel.  I was nervous.  I don't like the open water and it was quite rough out there and I am not the strongest swimmer.  Our guide told me to stick near her.   It was sooo beautiful.  First of all the water out there is so blue, I have never seen anything like it,  its like freezy blue/Rev blue it was amazing and the reef was incredible there was so much to look at it is a different world under the water I really cant explain the beauty.  I was so proud of myself when I got back, swimming in the open water was a big accomplishment for me and I was looking forward to our 4 o'clock snorkel.  By the time the second day rolled around I was a little over the snorkel thing.  The water was rougher and I wasn't a strong swimmer so it was difficult for me to get out to the reef and I still wasn't overly comfortable with the open water thing,  it was still uncomfortable and I panicked a little bit.  Now dont' get me wrong I loved being out there especially with the dolphins swimming along side our boat first thing in the morning and how with the first snorkel of the day the ocean was alive because everything was waking up but it was just so much work and such a struggle to get out there that I wasn't enjoying it.

I was over the water thing.  The water was even rougher and it was a struggle for me to get out to the reef and I still wasn’t comfortable swimming in the open water…but I wanted to be down with the divers oddly enough.  Once in a while I could see them swimming below me and it looked way better then where I was; plus I thought if I could swim down in the water instead of on top of the water maybe I would feel more comfortable. 

There was a meeting for an introductory dive that night,  I wasn`t going to go till the next morning but sat in on the meeting anyways.  Martin, one of my snorkelling buddies and Emily a girl I had met on my last snorkel (who doesn`t like open water either) and a few others were all going that day so I figured I might go as well.

Wet suits on, flippers with socks (they didn’t have any small enough for my feet) and a tank-thought I was gonna fall over and it was time to dive! Your telling me when I jump in with this tank I am gonna float? Yup I floated.  So now I am in the water holding on to the boat waiting my turn to get 5meters down to the safety bar.  I had my face in the water looking down practicing my breathing. What is your automatic reaction when you put your head/face in the water?  To stop breathing right?  I had to keep telling myself to breath normal,  I have had this horrible broncular cough wich has been making me out of breath plus my nerves about diving and I was anxious (I didn’t know if you have anxiety you are technically not supposed to dive).  Anyways Ned got Emily down and she was waiting for us on the safety bar,  now it was Lisa’s turn, good I can still practice my breathing.  Lisa panicked (her me and Emily do not like the open water).  Ned wanted to give her some time to relax so it was now my turn.  Down we go or attempted at least I not very far down I felt the pressure change and I felt like someone was sitting on my  chest and I felt like I couldn’t breath so Ned brought me back up.  We did this a few times.  I kept looking down at the safety bar thinking “I want to be down there, but if I am down there and I feel like I can’t breath it is a long way back up”  I kept psyching myself out.  “I want to try again”  so down we go.  I panicked a little bit but he kept me there and pointed at his eyes so I would concentrate on him then he took my right hand and put it over his heart so I could feel his relaxed heartbeat.  I started to come down I could feel us getting lower in the water, then I felt like I couldn’t breath and I panicked.  Up we went and back on the boat.  I was so frustrated!!! “It’s ok diving is not for everyone”  all I wanted to do was get down there.  I had booked a sky dive for a couple days after this and if I can jump out of a plane and conquer my fear of heights I wanted to conquer the water as well.  I planned to try and dive again the next morning.

The next day I skipped the 6:30 and 8:00 snorkel.  I wanted to be relaxed and not exert my lungs before my dive.  I was ready for the dive,  I was going to get down to the safety bar,  I was really determined to do it. Now just to stray away from the dive for a minute there are hand signals that you they teach before you get in the water.  The ok sign with your thumb and pointer finger together – ok. Thumbs up – lets go up, hand from side to side – something is wrong, and we learned other signs for certain fish.  “Ok” I say to the girls “we need a sign in case one of us is panicking so the other know. Just raise your hands and shake them by your head!”

 Wetsuit, flippers with socks and tank – you get the big one this time- I felt like I had my backpack on it was so heavy.  Into the water we get.  It was Emily, Lisa and I and Joel the instructor.  Emily goes down first (as she had gone yesterday and had already conquered her fear) then it’s my turn.  Down we go and up we go. Down we go and up we go.  I still felt like I couldn’t breathe. I was getting so frustrated because all I wanted to do was get down to the safety bar but I didn’t like the feeling.  Down we go again.  Now we are at the bottom stair of the boat.  Joel points down, I shake my head, he points to his mouth piece – just breath, we get a bit lower.  We equalize.  He gives me the ok sign, I give it back we go a bit lower.  I look down, Emily is sitting there with her camera so I wave. We get lower.  Next thing I knew I was down near the safety bar, I was so excited I could barely hold on to it.  I had one hand on but I fell off and was kicking around.  Joel puts me back on but my hands were all over the place he takes my hands and places them properly – I was like an excited toddler that need there parent to calm them down.  He gives us the ok sign and swims up to get Lisa.  I look at Emily and wave,  she waves and takes a picture.  I was so excited I just wanted to hug someone so I slid a little bit across the bar, she slides back a bit.  I slide again she slid back again, I slid she slid so I gave up and just sat there.  I looked around. All I saw was blue, it was like I was sitting in a Rev bottle and the sound is relaxing yet eerie.  A bit of panic set in.  I tapped Emily and moved my hand from side to side, she puts her hands face up and shrugs her shoulders,  I wave my hands beside me head and then slid closer to her this time she didn’t slide back.  Then like an angel coming down from the heavens Joel and Lisa were just above us.  Thank god!!!  He linked arms with Lisa and me and we were on our way. 

He started going deeper and I tapped him, pointed down and shook my head.  “Are you fucking crazy” I was thinking “this is deep enough”  yet slowly but surely he got me down to the 10 meters.  This was so much easier then snorkelling, no fighting currents and waves and there was no struggle against waves and I was breathing normal I felt quite relaxed, and it was so quiet.  The sound down there is a little eerie I kept thinking about a song that should be playing while we were down there. Then out of nowhere we were surrounded by the reef.  It was so beautiful.  The colours, the fish, the underwater life all in a three dimensional perspective.  Everywhere I looked there was something to see, I just wanted to reach out and touch everything, it was like nothing I had ever experienced before.  There was a big clam and I mean massive, the thing was huge,  Joel and Lisa touched and it closed and then blew out from its center which honestly looked like the female genitals.  We swam around looking at Nemo’s and coral and the most colourful fish I have ever seen and at one point the clouds broke and the sun just shone right down into the water and the colours got even more intense.  I could’ve stayed down there forever but it was time to say goodbye and head back up to the boat.

We were so proud of ourselves when we got back on the boat.  Lisa and I definatly felt like we had conquered a big fear and were floating around the rest of the day. The sun was shining and everyone was literally laying out on every spot possible basking in the sun enjoying our last few hours before the boat came to pick us up and bring us back to land.

I had just gotten used to my sea legs and being back on land was a bit of a struggle.  I actually felt a little nauseous and I fell over a bit.  Showering was really weird, I was moving and swaying from side to side but the rest of the world wasn’t , it was so weird.  

The next morning I was up bright and early for my skydive.  I was going with one of the girls that I had met at the hostel –Nicole .  I was so happy when I saw her in the morning,  it was nice to be going with someone and not on my own.  We got really nervous on the bus on our way over but our excitement and anxiousness died down when they had to postbone it for a few hours due to high winds AGAIN!  We wandered around Cairns hoping we would get to jump but in the end all jumps for the rest of the day were cancelled.  I booked in for the first flight the next day and unfortunately Nicole had to cancel because she was going White Water Rafting the next day.

We went for dinner at the Woolshed and met up with some people I had met on the boat, Hamish, Emily and her friend Richard that she met bungy jumping that day.  Lisa and her boyfriend ended up being there so we of course took pictures and gave eachother hugs and then Nicole and I went back to the hostel because we both had to be up early the next morning.

I wasn’t even nervous or excited when I woke up.  I was sick of getting worked up for it and it not happening.  If it got cancelled one more time I was just going to say forget it.  We watched the training video and then they piled us into the bus.  Ok I have now made it further then before this is a good thing.   All they  instructors were like “who is so and so?  Hey I’m so and so and I am jumping with you.”  All I get from Coops is “Emmie sit at the back” and then he sat at the front, “gee thanks!”  We get to the airport and he puts my harness on me and then we all start walking to the plane.  “oh shit, I forgot about the plane thing.  I am ready to jump but I forgot I had to get in a plane I hate planes!” Everyone starts laughing.  This plane was so small.  They basically squish like 15 of us in this thing.  There are two benches on either side and everyone is straddling one another and the first jumper sits on the floor.  Man I was sweating when the plane took off – Sally-one of the girls I met on the bus held my hand because I was freaking out.  9000 ft!  This is where Sally and her friend Penny get dropped off.  I’m looking out of my window thinking I don’t know if I want to go any higher than this, this is really fucking high.  The door opens! I push myself against the wall! “you don’t’ like that door do you?” says Coops.  “I’ve got to jump out of that fucking door” I was thinking.  Do you have any idea what it is like to watch somebody jump out of a plane? You see them go and the next thing you know you hear a loud sucking sound and they are gone!  I was freaking out!  What the hell did I get myself into this time.  Sally and Penny both jump, door is closed and we keep climbing.  The door opens again “we are going third” Coops tells me.  Again I am watching people get sucked into the air.  I was fucking scared but I really wanted off the plane… I was so not enjoying the plane ride.  Ok it’s our turn.  We scooch to the door, Coops crosses my hands over my chest and puts my head back.  I open my mouth scream and the next thing I know I am falling through the sky. THIS IS FUCKING INCREDIBLE!  IT’S NOT EVEN SCARY! FUCK AM I HAPPY TO BE OUT OF THE PLANE! I couldn’t believe what I was experiencing. I kept trying to scream “woohoo” but nothing was coming out.  Our free fall was 60 seconds and we fell 10,000 feet, but you don’t even feel like your falling, you don’t see the world coming at you and your stomach doesn’t go up to your throat, it’s a feeling of pure freedom.  There was a videographer that jumped who was filming and we were waving at him.  It’s so weird to be falling through the air and then you meet up with someone along the way, he even went through a cloud with us!  Coops pulls the shute and we get pulled up and the camera guy just got smaller. This is when my stomach went up to my throat.  He spun  us around as the shute opens up, oh this part doesn’t feel to good,  a little queezy here. Then we are floating slowly in the sky. “It’s a bit cold in that cloud isn’t it?”  honestly the temperature dropped quite a bit and had made me a little cold.  I got to steer my parachute around, Coops would make us do big swoops but when I told him it made me a little queezy he stopped as he has been puked on before. He pointed everything out to me like a tour guide, the sugar cane fields the mountains…to be honest I really don’t remember the view I wasn’t really paying attention I was concentrating more on how I felt and I felt amazing…actually I felt better then amazing, there are really no words to describe it.   I was buzzing for the rest of the day. I had never felt this before, I wish I could feel that alive everyday!  I couldn’t stop talking about it or watching the video.  I started drinking with some of the guys around 3 and just kept going to the late hours of the night.  It was such a great night, man we drank so much.  Coops and them came by the hostel as they usually do and we just threw back the drinks.  Emily stopped by to say goodbye, I shed some tears.  In the three days that we were friends she had such an impact on my trip and we had incredible conversations that I didn’t want to say goodbye and being overly emotional that day and being drunk the tears flowed out.  I don’t usually cry when I say goodbye to friends I have met traveling, but there have been a few on this trip that have really touched my heart.

The next morning I wasn’t feeling quite up to par, I was really hurting from the night before but had so much stuff to do as I was leaving the next day and was already behind schedule because I slept in.  I went into town, bought my skydive shirt and groceries and went to go grab the hostel shuttle.  A few of the guys from the hostel were getting dropped off and decided to kidnap me and take me for food and beer because it was my last night.  I got to listen to them talk about how they lost their virginity…it was actually quite funny.  Anyways that night was an early night for me as I was off the next morning to the middle of nowhere for two months.

I know I say this quite a bit when I leave a place but I was really gutted to leave Cairns.  The 8 days I had there were amazing and I met some incredible people and overcame some major fears.  I could’ve stayed there and gotten a job but I didn’t want to get sucked into a place again, I want to keep going and that’s what I am going to be doing in no man’s land.