Man Flu...Fact or Fiction?

Recently Dan and I came down with a cold/flu.  It was awful, plus we were working and due to our late nights working at the club our sleeping habits haven't been the greatest so we were just feeling worse.  Our bodies ached to the point it hurt to get out of bed, we had a fever and our nose was getting all stuffed up.   I don't even know how we had the energy to work but we pulled it off.  
"Baby I feel so sick." "I know babe so do I"  "No, but like really sick I'm so cold and I hurt all over"  "I know babe I feel the same, we just need to ride it out for a couple of days" and I leaned over and kissed him. "Oh baby I love you so much, it hurts and I'm so cold...you don't get it,  I feel worse then you.  I have Man Flu!"    Man Flu?!? WTF?!?

Man Flu (taken directly from http://www.manflu.info/)
Man Flu is a crippling and debilitating disorder indiscriminately striking down male members of the human species without warning. The illness is often referred to pejoratively by female members of the species who are in fact immune from the illness as man flu is now known to exclusively attack the XY chromosome carrier. If Man Flu is kind enough not to kill the infected party it will definitely leave him weak, sick, hurting everywhere and in dire need of TLC.
Medical professionals now also widely recognise that self diagnosis by the sufferer is the best means of identification as the symptoms of Man Flu are far more severe than the simple common cold which predominantly targets the XX chromosome holders (i.e. females). This goes some way to explain the cynicism some women display towards their male counterparts.

Medical professionals now also widely recognise that self diagnosis by the sufferer is the best means of identification as the symptoms of Man Flu are far more severe than the simple common cold which predominantly targets the XX chromosome holders (i.e. females). This goes some way to explain the cynicism some women display towards their male counterparts.

You have to be kidding me right?!?
I remember my mum telling me about this when I was younger, she warned me a that no matter what pain and agony we as women endure,  men will always say they have it worse.

The pain and suffering of Man Flu is similar to that of child birth

TRUE - Though at least with child birth it's all done and dusted in a few hours, but Man Flu can last for weeks...

haha ya right

  I must say, the term "Mother knows best"  is so true...she was so right about this thing called Man Flu.
"He is claiming to have Man Flu"  "Oh man,  Man Flu is the worst thing ever" yells one of the gus from the pool.  "your kidding me right?"  "no way, it's horrible it can kill you" says another one from the pool.   "Yes but we are both sick  and have all the same symptoms,  I feel just as awful as he does."  "No you don't he has Man Flu, you just have flu." "There is no way he feels worse then I do...he is not going to die."

Man Flu is simply a cold, the symptoms of which are greatly exaggerated by men.

FALSE - Man Flu is a serious and potentially life threatening illness, and will no doubt soon be on the Health and Safety Executive's list of Reportable Diseases. Man Flu is a distinct disease in its own right, and should not be misdiagnosed as a mere common cold.

 "you guys actually believe this"  "believe it?  there is nothing to believe it exists and its horrible"  "Babe they actually believe you." "Of course they do.  Man Flu is horrible, you can never get it because you have ovaries"

Women can catch Man Flu

FALSE - Man Flu does not attack humans with the XX chromosome, only those with the XY chromosome. This genetic mutation effectively immunises females against Man Flu. This may account for the reason that women widely believe that Man Flu is actually just the common cold, but with a bit of extra drama thrown in for good measure.

The best cure for Man Flu is a cocktail of Night Nurse, Day Nurse, chicken noodle soup and whiskey.

FALSE - There is no cure for Man Flu. Once infected the afflicted can only hope that the gods roll the dice in favour of life rather than slow, lingering death.

"Baby I'm so cold,  I think I see a 'the light' "  "Ok now you are pushing it.  I'm sick to and feel like shit and I am not winjing about it the way you are. Get out of bed."

The best way to deal with Man Flu is to just 'get on with it'

FALSE - Extensive research has proven that the only way to combat the crippling effects of Man Flu is complete withdrawal to the sofa and uninterrupted mollycoddling by the girlfriend / wife.

"I'm sick too you are not getting any sympathy from me."  Then he pulls out his iPhone (obviously still capable of using it) and shows me a a page on a  website - http://www.manflu.info/  (obviously not to sick to do that either).  "Babe look" he says in a sweet little innocent voice.

So I read:

If you find yourself in the position of primary carer for your boyfriend or husband then DO NOT PANIC. As explained elsewhere on this site you are completely immune from Man Flu.
Your beloved will shortly become completely dependant on you, requiring you to tend to his every need. Do not shun any request, don't forget that the affliction that he's suffering from is hundreds of times worse than the simple affliction which you know and understand as the common cold.
There are three distinct stages to Man Flu and it's important you know your responsibilities :

"Wait a minute.  Responsibilities?!?  Babe come on now this is going over board."  "Not if you want me to get better it's not. You want me to get better don't you?"

Stage 1 - I think I'm coming down with a cold. Don't forget, even medical experts recommend self diagnosis, and ALL men are experts at recognising the early stages. Here you will be expected to sympathise, any flippant comments now such as , "Oh I expect it's Man Flu is it?", will cause immediate deterioration. Preferred responses will be along the lines of, "There there, can I get you some chicken noodle soup and put your favourite Police! Camera! Action! DVD on?". This stage can last from one to three days.

Stage 2 - It's not a cold, it's the 'flu. Your beloved will barely be able to lift his fingers to work the remote control by now. - except of course to go on his iPhone and show me this website.  I'm sure doing it almost killed him -  There will be dramatic displays of coughing and chest holding. He will present a red and sniffly nose, and a phantom fever. Do not mention <begin sarcasm˃ Man 'Flu <end sarcasm˃. Instead continue to serve comfort food and provide him with a selection of men's magazines (such as FHM or Maxim) to take his mind off the illness ravaging his poor body. You may also be required to gently dab his forehead with a lightly dampened sponge or massage his feet. This life threatening stage may last from three to five days.

I here him laughing from the top bunk.

Stage 3 - It's not completely gone, but I think it's going. By now your beloved will be physically exhausted. He will have spent the previous seven days teetering on the brink of death only to have pulled through. However, he will start to feel less 'achy all over', and begin to move short distances away from the sofa. Hang in there with your pampering, you're nearly done. This stage can typically last from six to ten days. Please be aware that any sarcastic references to Man Flu at this stage can render the hapless victim straight back to the life threatening stage 2. He should be allowed a suitable period of convalescence (the length to be suggested by him) prior to being tasked with household tasks.
Good luck.

"haha good luck huh.   Good luck to you  baby!"  "but it hurts"  "your ass is going to hurt when I shove my foot up there in a minute."

Can you believe it?   Man Flu?   Really?   Do they actually think we believe this?  They are the simple minded ones not us

Anyways we are both better now,  its just more of a sinus infection now with a cough.  Yes, Dan survived, he didn't die, he is doing well....well enough to cook me dinner tonight!


*all in formation quoted was from the website http://www.manflu.info/ If you know any man that claims to suffer from it or a woman that has a man claiming to suffer from it ....god help them both!

A New Life in Darwin, A Long Winded Guide, An Orphan's Christmas and Ringing in the New Year

It's been 3 weeks since we left the Springs and we are loving life!
Darwin is awesome.   It's small but yet has a great vibe, with shops and bars lining the main street (Mitchel St.) and an awesome infusion of restaurants; Thai, Indian, Italian, Vietnamese, Japanese, Shushi, Burgers  and the food is awesome....finally some good food in Australia non of the tasteless stuff I have had to indure for the last 8 months lol.   Anyways, things here are great, we have an amazing job!  We are both bartending at the most popular bar/club in Darwin, Monsoons, we serve till 4am so we work late -or should I say early- but it is so worth it.  The money is awesome plus we make tips!!!  Plus the job it self is just awesome all the managers are my age,  some of them have been sponsored so were once travellers and they all actually work and I mean they bartend with us...there are bells that we randomly ring through out the nightl,  Coyote Tuesday where 2 of the managers dress like cowgirls and dance on the bar and stage all night, ladies night on Thursday which is when we have topless bartenders (Dan's abs and chest or on stand-by) and a male stripper,  we have water fights with eachother behind the bar, we deal with drunk wankers all night but it is great,  we have soo much fun and just love going to work.  I am also working next door at Wisdoms in the Bistro a few times a week for extra shifts even though it was suppossed to be my full time job and Monsoons was suppossed to be part time.  Let me rewind.
After our first weekend in Darwin we went out with our CV's and just went around to the bars.  We both really wanted to work at Monsoons but didn't want to limit ourselves.  Within 20 minutes Dan had 2 job trials and I had 3 with one that night at Wisdoms which I fell in love with.  They just threw me behind the bar, no training, didn't know where anything was on their bar or the computer system, and it was a busy night....it felt great to be behind a bar again.  The next night they did the same thing which I was fine with.  The next week I was  put into the restaurant part so they could train me for both.   I talked with the managers and asked for a set schedule and hours so I could get a part time job on the side and have Wisdoms as my main income "no worries,  we will give you 37 hours a week"  "sweet awesome".   Monsoons they would give me 2-3 nights a week so everything was working out. Though,  Wisdoms was worried about Monsoons stealing me from them "we like you here" "don't worry it's just for extra shifts they wont steal me"   Then the schedule came out the next week at Wisdoms  - 15 hours!  Three shifts in the bistro and nothing on bar, NOT EVEN NEW YEARS!  "Em I feel so bad,  just wait till next week I feel so bad"  "Seriously no worries,  I will just let Monsoons know so I can get some hours."   Well not only did I let Monsoons know but I changed all my tax info so I can make them my primary income and went full time as one of the night bartenders.   Not that I wanted to screw Wisdoms over but I can't sit around week by week hoping they are going to give me hours.   Anyways its all working out we are so happy and Darwin is both of our favourite place in Australia.   It's wierd you know there is a saying that goes something like - we travel the world only to look for comforts that remind us of home -  Darwin reminds me of an oversized Blue Mountain Village, well at least the area we live in.  It's basically all shops, and bars/restaurants,  the people are a mix of locals, backpackers and other Aussies who ended up there because they love it (which reminds me of the collective group in Cwood)   If you work at  the bars you pretty much have VIP everywhere and know all the other bartenders and everyone is friends with everyone and there is drama (just like the village).  You have your grocery store and the beach around the corner and your resorts and hostels, there is hustel and bustle during the day and at night the place just comes alive.  I guess in a way with the smallness of it but the closeness of the people; and the ppeople here I must say are pretty awesome (though there are always a few)  I feel at home and so does Dan.  Some of the people here I have met remind me of people from back home which I guess goes into the whole "feeling like I'm at home" mix of things.  It just sucks that we have to leave in less then 3 months as my Visa is up at the begining of April.   
As the streets are lined with shops, bars and the hustle and bustle of people they are also lined with Aboriginals who sit on the side walks banging sticks and singing, playing the dijeridoo and begging for money,  passed out drunk spread eagle on the sidewalks,  emptying out their bodily fluids where ever and whenever they feell like it,  fighting eachother and yelling at the people sitting out on the patio's....it's pretty nuts but they are a whole other story.
I originally had a job working reception at the hostel which seemed like a good deal, but.....the owner is a bit of a sleeze, all he did was look at my chest, I didn't even have any clevage showing at all, he then points to my chest and says "you have a piece of hair there."  Everytime he walked past me he would have to "brush" past me....eww he is so gross.  He actually has a really bad reputation in Darwin,  we have even heard he has been shut down and has had charges against him from past employees.   Though none of that was the reason I quit.   I found out that the place is shutting down for renovations meaning that there would be no work "but I will need someone to look after the place when it is shut down so you would have free rent."  "yes but I would have no money coming in."  "yes but you would have free rent"  so being responsible I told him that I didn't want to waste his time or my time with training if the place was shutting in 3 weeks and I would just have to find another job as I had to think of myself and my finances.  Thank you very much but I don't think I will be taking the job "well then maybe you need to find another hostel where you can get free rent"   "I can afford rent thank you I just need to have money coming in" "like I said you need to find a place that will offer you free rent"  He was so rude about it.  this place is not backpacker friendly, don't get me wrong we love it here, it's small and the people staying/living here are awesome, it is a great group of people here, but the guy is so money hungry, he doesn't care about the people here.  There is an old Italian woman staying here and she wanted a blanket because she gets cold at night they charged her $10 for it.  The other morning our rent was due at 10am but because we work late we slept late (we usually pay a day early but we slept all day)  they come in our room screaming at us at 10am when not only have we been here for 3 weeks and they know us, they know we are staying and not checking out and that we work till 6am.  Your rent is due come pay, they screamed at us to wake up.  "Sorry but we worked till 6am"  Dan replied extremely annoyed that they woke us up, then they stood outside tapping their foot for us to get up right away.  We slept another 2 hours lol.  It's pretty chilled out and quiet during the day, people swimming or just lounging but at night once reception is closed it is a different story.  The place comes alive and gets crazy, though we are usually at work so we don't partake in any of the festivities and on our nights off we are so sick of dealing with drunk people that we lock ourselves in our room lol, we have become the anti-social couple lol.  Oh well....I told Dan having an old girlfriend is making him old.
We did a day trip to Litchfield National Park. The morning started off with a 2 hour boat ride into croc infested water.  They swam right up to the boat and jumped for the food our guide had hanging on a stick.  Some of them were massive and it was a little intimidating when they jumped out of the water, sometimes you could feel them swimming into the boat.  After that we stopped off and leaerned about Cathedral and Magnetic Termite Mounds which were pretty incredible to look at but our guide was a little long winded. We really just wanted to get to the falls and swim so we were getting bored.  I mean, it was alright, except that we were extremely hung over and our guide was shit.  All he did for 12 hours was talk about how he was raised with the Aboriginals and he never saw a white man (he is white) until he was like 10 and then he went on to talk about Scientology for hours.  Everyone was so bored except this one girl who just kept asking him questions,  we wanted to hit her and tell her to shut up!   When we stopped somewhere he would spend an hour telling us about it then repeat it over three times,  something that would normally take 10 minutes to explain took him half an hour and it was sooo hot.   At one point in the day a big horsefly got into the van so I killed it.  He got out of the drivers seat opened the back door and lectured me about killing flies because they have a spirit and I don't have a right to kill them - "thats why the Aboriginals are covered in them.  They don't kill them because they are there brothers" -  ya I don't think thats why but I will bite my tongue on that one.   
All Dan and I wanted to do was swim at the waterfalls....but it seemed like that was never going to happen.   Finally after 7 hours we arrived at Florence Falls.  It was awesome!  Two waterfalls,  amazing refreshing fresh water that was super clear and amazing weather.  It felt so good and our hangovers and bad moods were gone instinaneously.  We swam under the falls and swam around underwater taking pictures and saw some fish, we wanted to stay all day but because we got there @ 2pm we only had 45 minutes before we had to go to the next swimming spot...Buley Rockholes.  The Buley's start high up and flow all the way down, each small fall landing into small swimming holes.  Soo much fun especially sliding our way from one pool to the next.  We spent about 45 minutes there and then it was time to head back and watch the sunset in Fannie Bay.  The sunset was incredible, the colours were breathtaking, they literally changed every 5 seconds and they were so vibrant,  I would love to say the most beautiful I have ever seen but I have seen so many from different points of the country and other countires that they are so hard to compare, but WOW, I definately want to get out there and see another one.
Christmas was awesome, I called it the Orphan's Christmas as all of us were away from home and Celebrating with complete strangers yet it was one of the best Christmas's I have ever had, though at the same time it didn't feel like Christmas.   There didn't seem to be any Christmas vibe at all in Darwin.  Places had lights up but it was more to match their decor then give off the Christmas Spirit.  Plus the hostel didn't have lights up because the owner doesn't like tacky Dan and I slept till about 2p as we don't get home from work till about 6am - Monsoons serves till 4am.  Joe (one of our roommates) cooked up a massive BBQ - lobster, shrimp, skewers, sausages and of course beer, bourbon chips and dip.  Rob (our other roommate) came out dressed as Santa and everyone sat on his lap, it was classic.  The boys played in the pool and we listened to music.  By the time the evening hit everyone was pretty much in a good vibe so the drinking games commenced for a few hours and then we had to move ourselves inside as it rained like a bitch.  At about 2 am the guitar started randomly out of nowhere - Oasis, Wonderwall- and as if on cue everyone started singing together, it sounded so beautiful.
We work most of the time.   My hours are nuts, working two jobs so I usually work 12 hour days but I love my jobs and Dan and I have a blast working at Monsoons, plus we love working together.   We worked NYE which was a blast.  We got our midnight kiss and the managers had Jagerbombs lined up for us in the kitchen.  Our liscence was extended till 5am so we didn't finish till 6am so we were knackered...but to our surprise thats when the party started.  The GM said drinks on him all morning so we sat inside the restaurant till 10am (I think it was 10am) !  We were pissed, we actually had to leave because we were too drunk and we had both already puked.   We got back to the hostel and went for a swim and then slept till 7pm.   I have now had two days off and it is back to work in a few hours!  Grrr...as much as I love my jobs I hate going to work after a few days off.
Anyways....I miss you all very much and I hope your celebrations of the introduction of the new year was a blast oh and I do hope Santa was good to you all.  
Happy 2012!!!