A Grandma is Perfection

I don’t know how to write this.  I am struggling for words and we both know that I never run out of things to say.  I have words in my head but I’m struggling putting them down on paper and this is like nothing I have ever written.   I want this to be written right, whatever that means.  I guess I would consider myself a bit of a writer, and it’s the easiest thing for me when it comes to releasing emotions but I don’t know if the way I write is going to be good enough for my last words to you. I just really want this to be written right, whatever that means; if there even is a right way for a eulogy its not like there is a template to writing them.  I just want it be heartfelt, sincere and get down into your heart.   I want it to be perfect.  But what is perfect ? Is perfect  how you always let me play in the kitchen sink with water up to my elbows and  flood the kitchen. Is it when you always made my favourite snack- celery and cheese wiz-so I could sit in the big chair and watch the Mini Pops and the Ewoks.  Or is it how you let me get away with anything, even when I hid in the closet for an hour and you couldn’t find me, or how no matter how tacky and gaudy they were you always wore the broaches I gave you with pride – I’m sure you have one from every single year since I was born.  Is perfect how we go out shopping and you would by me my “Christmas present” and then when Christmas morning came there were still five presents under the tree for me. What about how you always had ice cream in the freezer, how you would sit and tickle my back for hours without  ever stopping or saying  you were too tired, how you cut up my toast into little soldiers and how your breakfast eggs were soo much better then Mom’s and didn’t tell her so we wouldn’t hurt her feelings.  What about how every Birthday and Christmas we all knew that there would be a small paper that would fall out with a cash amount on it, how you loved Michael Buble, you could sing –a-long to all the old classics, and how every time I wore my ripped jeans you asked me why I couldn’t afford a good pair.  The stories of when you were young about how you and Grandpa met or school girl tales and you could remember everyone name but you couldn’t remember  the day before,  how for years you wouldn’t get a hearingade because you didn’t believe you were going deaf and we had to almost yell for the past 10 years. You always looked good and ready to go but no matter what you would always end up with food down the front of your shirts – we could dress you up but couldn’t take you out.  Your wet kisses,  your pea soup, how you would always move your foot when you listened to music or rocked yourself in your chair, scrabble, how you always had ice in your wine, your love for pizza and of course your love for all of us.  I don’t know if I could write anything perfect enough for all of the perfect things you have given me.  There are no amount of words in this world that could even come to close to what a Grandma means to a grandchild.  I’m sorry that I am not there today, you did promise me you would still be here when I got back, you were supposed to stick around forever, you were my last one left but I guess promises are meant to be broken. Your with Grandpa now and I’m ok with that.  I can just picture you up there with all of them, Grandpa, Uncle Bud, Uncle Al, Aunty Doe.  The men must be going crazy having two of you up there now.  I can see the poker table and the drinks flowing…you better keep them in line. 

As I said before I am sorry I am not there today and please don’t think it means I love you any less because that’s not the case,  I just couldn’t get back so I have written this hopefully perfect enough eulogy but I guess if it comes the heart then its perfect enough right?  I know you didn’t always get me, 30 (almost an old maid as you would call me) and no serious relationship, not a career girl and not settled down with a house and really no plans for the future and hated me traveling and backpacking the world (especially by myself).  I want you to know that I don’t have any regrets and I  am really happy with all the decisions I have made.  I just really hope that you are proud of me.  I guess  that’s it…I don’t really know what else to say  I don’t really know how to finish one of these off so I’m guessing the best way would be to way the way you signed off on everything.  LOVE YA!!!